There are only 2 kinds of people in every room. Which one are you?

The first kind of person walks into a room and says, “Here I am!” Oh, the person may not say it, but everyone senses it. In entering the room, this person gives off a self-grandiose, know-it-all, I’m-better-than-you, aloof-kind-of vibe. It’s frightening to think that in many times the person’s not even aware he giving this vibe. He’s trying to appear on top of the world, but we all know the final result for the relationships in his life. Then there is another kind of person, and the world really does belong to her.

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Abigail Van Buren once said, whereas the first kind of person walks into a room and says, “Here I am!” the second kind of person walks into a room and says, “Oh, there you are!” The latter attitude sets other people in the room at ease, makes them feel happy, and creates a positive atmosphere.

The “Here I am” attitude leads one down a different road than the person with the “Oh, there you are” attitude. At any given time, we are each perceived as having one or the other attitude. Regardless of venue, space, and setting.

  • Think about a speaker on stage. If she razzles and dazzles, but cares very little about her audience, then the whole thing feels off-putting. Whereas even if she’s only a so-so speaker but affirms and acknowledges you in significant ways, she succeeds in endearing the audience towards her and the message.
  • Think about a husband arriving through the front door after a long day at work. The fist 20-minutes of the family’s experience after he walks through the front door has everything to do with whether his attitude is “Here, I am!” or “Oh, there you are.”
  • Think about the truck riding your car bumper on a rocky country road, attempting to pass at any cost. Do you feel positive towards the driver? No, because his attitude is one of “Here I am!” Your town or city would feel a lot different if more drivers drove with the attitude of “Oh, there you are.”
  • Think about when you are in a long, slow grocery store line. Does your body language speak, “Here I am” or “Oh, there you are”? Some let out exasperated sighs, filling the air with tension, while others acknowledge and affirm the employee’s challenging work under stressful customer conditions.

Each of us carries one or the other attitude everywhere, regardless of whether we want to or not. It just is, and in every space you enter, people will always sense a “Here I am” or “Oh, there you are” vibe from you.

More pressing, we’ve each developed a tendency towards carrying one or the other attitude.

The good news is we can transform our heart and mind into one or the other at any time. One ancient author named Paul got it right when he said, “Wherever I go, I become a servant to those in the room.”

Note the phrase, I become. Every room and space he entered, he crossed an invisible line that triggered his transformation from “Here I am” to “Oh, there you are.”

If anyone had legit reason to have the former attitude, it was Paul. He was a credentialed, accomplished, and a seasoned expert. But everywhere he went, he served others – he had the attitude of “Oh, there you are, so good to see you – how can I help” attitude.

Regardless of who was in the room:

  1. Religious or non-religious
  2. Moralist or immoralist
  3. Rich or poor
  4. Have’s or have-nots
  5. Man or woman
  6. Regardless of skin color or political classification.

What a great attitude. So many people are trying to climb the ladder of success, to the top of the world. They fail, in large part, because their attitude is one of “Here I am!” We’re taught from a young age to brand, i.d., and resume ourselves out the world.

Doing so creates a subtle shift in attitude towards, “Here I am.”

But flip that and the world will belong to you. The world belonged to Paul. His shift of attitude in the opposite direction made all the difference in the world: from “Here I am” to “Oh, there you are.”

As a result, he made friends, got his message out, left a meaningful legacy and made a lasting impact on millions of lives. He even has several letters in the best selling book of all time, the Bible.

It can work for you too. When your attitude shifts in a similar direction you will…

  1. Make more friends
  2. Advance your career
  3. Discover the right life-path for you
  4. Have people wanting to work with you
  5. Feel more alive
  6. Life will become easier
  7. Make a lasting difference
  8. Get noticed
  9. Become fully present in the now
  10. Not take yourself too seriously
  11. Wake up excited about your day

Others will feel alive, appreciated, and awesome in your presence. Maya Angelou was right when she said, “People may not remember what you did or said but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

So you get to choose. Of course, maybe you prefer categorizing the world a bit differently, like Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction (deleted scene), who said, “When it comes to important subjects, there’s only two ways a person can answer. For example, there’s two kinds of people in this world, Elvis people and Beatles people. Now Beatles people can like Elvis. And Elvis people can like the Beatles. But nobody likes them both equally. Somewhere you have to make a choice. And that choice tells me who you are.”

To get the conversation started, click comment and let us know: What differences do you notice when you have one attitude or the other?

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5 thoughts on “There are only 2 kinds of people in every room. Which one are you?

  1. People naturally tend to be prideful, but having self-awareness like this could help. I especially resonate with the “driving” analogy:) Keep up the good work!

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