Whenever you want to influence others to action – go on a date, buy your product, get your kid out of bed on time! – you’ll want to have a great presence about you.
Because people are most influence by people with great presence more than they are by words.
That’s why I sent you 3 ways to have great mojo. Put them into practice and you’ll see improved life results.
Here are the top 2 mindsets – and mindsets create your presence — that lead to greater influence and getting more out of life…
#2: HAVE A KIND CURIOSITY ABOUT OTHERS
When people with great mojo are talking with you, they see things from your point of view., and that’s what you’ll want to do with others Henry Ford said, “If there is any one secret of success it’s the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle.”
Approach others with a kind and curious mindset. Wonder what its like to be them today. Ask people how they’re day is going, then really listen. Be fully present so that the other person can feel it.
A helpful way to put this magnetic mindset into practice is to try what Emerson believed. He said, “Every person I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” So when you approach others, ask yourself:
- What can I learn from this person today?
- What is it like to be her today?
- He teaches in school, what is that like?
- What does she really care about today?
Here’s what people with great mojo have learned: the secret to being interesting is to be interested. When you show interest in them, they’ll find you interesting.
Someone once said, “I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
When you have a magnetic mindset, you’ll generate a magnetic presence about you that people will like so much that they’ll want to buy from you, fall in love with you, and be your lifetime friend.
Now to the #1 Magnetic Mindset to influence others in positive and impactful ways…
#1 BE AGREEABLE
People with magnetic mindsets say things like, “I agree with you” and “I’m totally with you on that.”
We live in a hyper judgmental world, but people with great mojo know that God himself hasn’t even started judging people so why should they?
Instead of quietly sizing you up, people with this magnetic mindset agree with your point of view. Even if to them you sound like you’ve lost your marbles, they know the only way they can build a solid relationship with you is on agreement.
In today’s world, people seem to prefer being right over building great relationships and this is insane because you don’t even know if you are absolutely right. Things change all the time and new information constantly surfaces on topics you thought you had all figured out. Meanwhile, we sabotage relationships in our pursuit of being right – we justify, defend ourselves, and put others down to prop ourselves u0, all of which is bad presence and leads to not getting ahead in life.
People with great mojo do not use agreeing with others as a form of manipulation, but rather as simply thinking ‘that’s their point of view, which everyone has one, and it’s just how they see the world at this particular time and I’m going to agree that they have a point of view on this topic because my relationship with them is more important than our very small perspective on this topic.’
They may banter and tease you about your point of view – as all good friends do – but they know that to have good mojo, they must build the relationship on agreement.
So they don’t try to manage the mindsets of others. Instead, they’ll see the raw material that makes you YOU and treat you like your perspective matters.
Criticism and judgment never help anyway. Rarely does anyone ever criticize themselves, no matter how wrong they are. So they sure aren’t going to accept your criticism peacefully. Criticism puts people on the defensive, and they’ll respond in kind as they defend themselves because the criticism wounds their pride and arouses resentment. When you disagree with someone, they’ll disagree with you. When you criticize someone, they’ll criticize you. See the great book How to Win Friends and Influence People for a deep dive on this.
Abraham Lincoln was called one of the most perfect rulers ever by his general, and yet in his early days as a lawyer Lincoln blasted people publicly time and time again. One time he wrote an anonymous letter to the newspaper blasting and ridiculing a politician. Everyone in town raved and laughed. The politician found out who it was, jumped on his horse to find Lincoln, banged on his house door – yelling for him to come out, and challenged Lincoln to a dual. Lincoln was no fist fighter, and wanted no part of it, so the politician gave him his choice of weapons and time to train, which Lincoln did. On the day of the sword fight, they agreed to dual unto death, when their wives stepped in to stop the insanity.
Lincoln learned an invaluable lesson that day: never criticize another person, even when you don’t agree with them. He’d later say of the South, “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”
So do you need to approach your boss? Talk to your coach? Do you want to ask the girl out for a drink? Want to make lots of sales? Are you wanting to make a new friend in a crowded room?
Use these magnetic mindsets until they become second nature and you’ll develop such a great presence that you’ll get the girl, make the friend, receive your promotion, make the sale and much, much more.