The answer is not coffee. I’m addicted to the bean, but the answer is something far more helpful than a drink. Let’s say at midnight everyday your energy is reset to 100%. But when you wake up in the morning, you…
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- Wake up to an alarm clock you don’t trust
- Your shampoo bottle is empty and deodorant is gone
- Your spouse complains about your lack of morning help
- You run out the door with your shirt un-tucked and unironed because you’re running late
- You arrive to work at 8am with a depleted energy level where everyone needs something from you
The mental stress leads to physical exhaustion. It’s only 8am and your energy level is already depleted.
Well the analogy is fiction because most people don’t begin with a 100% energy reset everyday. Given peoples’ poor sleep patterns, unhealthy food intake, and negative self-talk, many begin with 30-50% energy levels, at best.
But we all want to have a fulfilling life, a quality of life, a life doing more of what matters most. We want to go through the pathway of life mastery and come out the other side having doubled our happiness, growth, and satisfaction.
The little known secret to mastering your life, and do so with extra energy is…
Eliminating what experts call Tolerations.
There was a time in my life when my car was always messy, my closet was pretty cluttered, my conversations with my wife were really 2 monologues with tension, my finances were chained to debt, and I lacked inspiring friendships.
The result: my energy was depleted, my brain was on autopilot, I felt stuck at work, and my relationships were in the mode of spinning tires.
Then I learned about tolerations.
These are not the same as Tolerance. The latter is quite healthy –an acceptance of others for who they are without saying whether they are right or wrong. Tolerations, on the other hand, drain your energy, weigh you down like a ton of bricks, and prevent you from mastering life and doing what matters most.
The good news is you have control over your tolerations. They’re slowing you down right now, but you can chop them down as you walk through the pathway to life mastery.
Here are some examples of what people tolerate:
- Cluttered closets and messy rooms
- The town you live in
- An unsatisfying job just so you can pay the bills
- Letting people talk negatively around you
- Other people’s expectations of you
- Appliances that need fixed
- Romance missing in the relationship
- Frantic mornings
Most people on earth are tolerating – putting up with things that sap their life’s purpose and energy – way too much in their life. If this is you, it’s time to pause and consider that your life is far more important than simply tolerating things. Indeed, you weren’t put on earth just to tolerate things. Doing so clutters your thoughts, depletes your energy, and keeps you from focusing on what matters most.
Your life is more important than that.
If you believe this, then here’s steps that will help you master your life, and do so with robust levels of energy.
- In the next 7-days, put together 50 personal tolerations.
- Don’t worry about solving them at this point, just listing them on paper is jarring enough.
- 50 will seem like a lot. So on the 8th day, double that. List them all out, uncover every rock. List what you’re tolerating at work. At home. In your family. With your community. With your friendships. What are you putting up with that drains your energy, weighs you down, and distracts you from having a life doing more of what matters most?
- Then begin eliminating them. One. By. One. List them, take 100% responsibility for their existence, then eliminate them.
Eliminating these tolerations will pave the way for increased natural energy. And a significant starting place to mastering life includes robust daily energy. Wouldn’t you like to have a spring in your step, a boost to your day, and a zest for life as you scan your daily schedule? To focus on doing more of what matters most?
This requires a reservoir of energy you can draw from at anytime. And the best way to create that energy well within you is to clear your Tolerations from your life. Doing so springboards you into doing more of what matters most.
After you list them, the temptation will be to manage them. But you know it won’t work. That’s what you’ve been doing, and as the saying goes: If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. You either begin mastering your life or you don’t.
Managing them will not help anyone, especially you. Either eliminate them, modify the current tolerations, or change them.
If you’re still unsure of how to go about this, here’s a short list of suggestions in how to take action towards a better life that includes extra energy:
- Write your Tolerations on paper and feel what your life could be like minus them.
- Dump your Tolerations.
- Deal honestly with them.
- Accept responsibility for them. If they continue to bother you, then you are only managing them. They are still ongoing tolerations until you are no longer bothered by them.
- Choose your Best Story. You have a choice with each toleration: go with the same life narrative or your best story?
- Dialogue with your loved ones about your Tolerations.
- Delegate them. Instead of saying, “Can I delegate this?” say “To whom will I delegate this?”
- Due date it. An example would be perhaps you decide to tolerate living in a small house for a few years in order to put your kids in private schools, but you have a plan to move beyond the toleration.
Whenever you are stressed or feeling challenged, pause and consider current Tolerations in life. Accept full responsibility for your tolerations and move on. You can do this. The consequences for putting up with Tolerations in your life is huge. Eliminating them makes your path all the more fun and filled with extra energy because now you have a life doing what matters most.