When it comes to marriage – you’re always either selling or being sold. Your partner picks a restaurant to eat at, in hopes to sell you eating at that restaurant. You do the same with your partner – whether picking a movie, a church to attend, what to do tomorrow afternoon, where to live, etc. “Selling and being sold” occurs in everything within your relationship. One of you is selling, the other being sold, and this matters because there’s one sale – above all else – that you must make to ensure a real happily ever after.
The #1 sale to make is to sell yourself that your relationship with this person is superior than it’s ever been, that you guys are always getting better, and that you’re falling in love with each other again this day.
It’s the number one sale because if you can’t sell yourself on that idea, then your marriage will head in the opposite direction.
You have to believe in your marriage before your marriage will soar.
Stop waiting for it to get better. Sell yourself on the idea that it’s getting better every day and your belief will begin creating the fact.
You say, “Aaron, but my marriage isn’t superior to what it’s been. We aren’t getting better. And we’re definitely not falling in love with each other again this – or any other – day.”
Right, that means you’re selling yourself on the idea that it’s getting worse. You’re selling yourself on feeling tired and bored with your partner. Your selling yourself on the idea that you aren’t getting better.
No. Whenever you feel like your marriage is heading in the wrong direction it’s because you’re selling yourself on the idea that it’s heading in the wrong direction.
Pandy and I go through tough times. Just the other day we “got into it” over who was driving which kid where and how it was going to work. I almost turned into Darth Vader and she almost morphed into Medusa. Her stare almost turned me to stone and my voice almost lifted her into the air. In that moment we were selling ourselves that our marriage was exhausting.
But we didn’t buy.
When we were first married, we bought the idea and, consequently, it would’ve taken us days to reignite the passion and love. Now it takes a quick mental pivot.
We know it’s part of growing and loving.
We quickly sell ourselves that our marriage is great and superior to what it used to be, and that we’ll keep discovering and getting better. As a result… it does.
You’re always selling or being sold in your marriage. With every idea, action, and conversation.
When you get the #1 sale right – to sell yourself that your marriage keeps getting better and is superior to what it used to be, and that you’re passionately in love with your spouse all over again this day – you’ll feel more alive and excited in your marriage. Your marriage will be greater each day.
And when your marriage is great, other things like work, play, and friendships are great.
Sell yourself on the #1 sale. Everyday.