World-Class Couples Academy

Experience the Ultimate Relationship, Find/Keep the Love of Your Life, and Make Your Marriage a Masterpiece 

 

Logo (2)

 

Want to experience the ultimate relationship? You can. Why do some couples experience the ultimate relationship, while others struggle and divorce?  It wasn’t always a bed of roses for Dr. Aaron Bird’s relationship. In fact, he almost lost the love of his life because of his “knuckleheadedness”.  So how did he marry his 7th grade sweetheart, coach thousands of successful couples, perform wedding ceremonies, and become a preeminent leader in the relationship industry? Learn the success strategies and secret solutions here: Experience the Ultimate Relationship, Find/Keep the Love of Your Life, and Make your Marriage a Masterpiece.

CLICK HERE | TO LEARN MORE

Comparing Your Life With Others Sucks (+ the top 3 strategies for how to prevent it)

Literally: Comparing your life with others sucks the energy out of you and makes you feel bad. It causes suffering, pain, and envy. And as one wise person once said (King Solomon), “Envy rots the bones.” Yet comparing your life with others is natural. That’s not good because when you compare yourself with people you think are superior to you, it makes you feel bad; while, when you compare yourself with people you think are inferior to you, it makes you feel prideful and, consequently, you don’t maximize your potential because you think you’ve arrived.  So how do we get out of this comparison game?

photocontribution:ellre

Because comparison comes so natural to all of us, it will always be with us to some degree. But here are three ways to help minimize it to such a degree that it no longer controls your emotional state and sabotages your ability to live a fulfilling life.

1. Your race is your race.

There are many areas of life: time, $$, romance, health, family, hobbies, work, and education. In each of these areas you run your race.

The goal is to grow, enjoy, and live with passion and love in each area. Ultimately, you want to maximize your own potential in each area.

You are not running your dad’s race. You’re not running your mom’s race. You’re not running your 6th grade teacher’s race. You’re not running your colleague’s race. You’re not running your neighbor’s race. You’re not running the race of the family that lives in the mansion. Your not running the homeless guy’s race.

You’re running your race. You’re maximizing your potential.

Some people were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Some look at those people and say, “Wow, they were born on third base, that’s not fair.” Not me, I think it’s a disadvantage because they don’t have to overcome, push through, and refine their character in ways they would otherwise get to. But I don’t judge them for that. I’m responsible for my own race.

Others have good healthy genetics, some don’t. Other’s were born with loving parents, some were sexually abused. Others have a wonderful romantic life, some live with relational brokenness.

The point: you are running your own race and will never be held accountable for anyone else’s race. So there’s no since in comparing your life with others. Everyone is born in different ways, under different circumstances. You can cheer others on, get inspired by them, and serve them – but never compare your life with them. When you remember that it’s about maximize your own potential – and that because nobody has the same set of life circumstances as you, thus comparison isn’t even logically legit – you get out of the comparison game.

2. Don’t be an “If Only” person

We all fall into this trap at times. “If only” I had that job. “If only” had those parents. “If only” I had a million dollars. “If only” my spouse was kinder. “If only…”

  • Then I could follow my dream.
  • Then I would be happy.
  • Then I would give more.

When we start the “If only…then,” we are saying it’s someone else’s fault. Maybe we blame God: “God, if only you would’ve put me in that family. If only you would’ve answered my prayers. If only you would’ve given me wealth.”

Or maybe we blame our bosses, clients, or family. It doesn’t matter who we blame because once we blame, we disempower our lives – which keeps us from thinking 10x thoughts and taking massive action toward what we want in life.

Remedy: Take 100% responsibility for everything you can. This will empower you. Instead of saying, “If only, then” start saying, “I’m grateful, now let’s get to it.”

 

3. Get Perspective

Perspective means you only see a slice of reality. So when you compare yourself with someone you think is superior to you in some way, what you’re really doing is comparing your behind the scenes junk and emotional uncertainty with their highlight reels and public smiles.

You and I don’t know the full version of other peoples lives. And if we did, we’d probably have great empathy for them. They, too, have emotional uncertainty about life. They, too, argue with their spouse. They, too, have deep rooted fears. They, too, are scared.

Same with people you perceive to be inferior to you in some way. I once met a homeless man who had been a millionaire just 3 months earlier but because of some horrible unjust circumstances, he was on the street trying to rebuild his life. You never know.

And others think of you as a person full of highlight reels. If you’re reading this, you live in the top 2% of the world, economically speaking. So if you carry around emotional uncertainty and behind the scenes junk, don’t you think the people you consider full of highlight reels do too?

Here are some quick ways to gain perspective: perspective strategies that move your life forward.

 

4. BONUS Strategy (for those who believe in God): Measure your life by how God measures you.

He loves you unconditionally, is always satisfied with you, and is never done with growing you. As Lewis said, “If God can be satisfied with his work (you), then you can be satisfied with his work.”

Comparison doesn’t help, not even for you high achievers. You either feel terrible or get a little complacent. You don’t have to compare your life with others to achieve greatness. Go get the life you want, and instead of achieving because you think that’ll make you happy, happily achieve through all the tugs and joys of life.

Instead of comparing your life with others and saying, “They are skinnier, richer, nicer, better, inferior, superior, smarter…” work your way out of the comparison game. Life’s too short not to live your own life. Comparison is debilitating, depressing, and exhausting. Follow the above strategies to get off the treadmill of comparison.

Much love,

aaron

The #1 Sale to Make in Marriage

When it comes to marriage – you’re always either selling or being sold. Your partner picks a restaurant to eat at, in hopes to sell you eating at that restaurant. You do the same with your partner – whether picking a movie, a church to attend, what to do tomorrow afternoon, where to live, etc.  “Selling and being sold” occurs in everything within your relationship. One of  you is selling, the other being sold, and this matters because there’s one sale – above all else – that you must make to ensure a real happily ever after.

photocontribution=kellymarken

The #1 sale to make is to sell yourself that your relationship with this person is superior than it’s ever been, that you guys are always getting better, and that you’re falling in love with each other again this day.

It’s the number one sale because if you can’t sell yourself on that idea, then your marriage will head in the opposite direction.

You have to believe in your marriage before your marriage will soar.

Stop waiting for it to get better. Sell yourself on the idea that it’s getting better every day and your belief will begin creating the fact.

You say, “Aaron, but my marriage isn’t superior to what it’s been. We aren’t getting better. And we’re definitely not falling in love with each other again this – or any other – day.”

Right, that means you’re selling yourself on the idea that it’s getting worse.  You’re selling yourself on feeling tired and bored with your partner. Your selling yourself on the idea that you aren’t getting better.

“But aaron…”

No. Whenever you feel like your marriage is heading in the wrong direction it’s because you’re selling yourself on the idea that it’s heading in the wrong direction.

Pandy and I go through tough times. Just the other day we “got into it” over who was driving which kid where and how it was going to work.  I almost turned into Darth Vader and she almost morphed into Medusa. Her stare almost turned me to stone and my voice almost lifted her into the air.  In that moment we were selling ourselves that our marriage was exhausting.

But we didn’t buy.

When we were first married, we bought the idea and, consequently, it would’ve taken us days to reignite the passion and love.  Now it takes a quick mental pivot.

We know it’s part of growing and loving.

We quickly sell ourselves that our marriage is great and superior to what it used to be, and that we’ll keep discovering and getting better. As a result… it does.

You’re always selling or being sold in your marriage. With every idea, action, and conversation.

When you get the #1 sale right – to sell yourself that your marriage keeps getting better and is superior to what it used to be, and that you’re passionately in love with your spouse all over again this day – you’ll feel more alive and excited in your marriage. Your marriage will be greater each day.

And when your marriage is great, other things like work, play, and friendships are great.

Sell yourself on the #1 sale. Everyday.

 

Much love,

aaron

The Quickest and Most Effective Strategy (New) To Increase Your Energy Levels

Great energy leads to a greater family life, profitable productivity, and a far more fulfilling life in the major life categories of friendships, money, family, growth/spirituality, romance, and work.  Lack of energy sucks – literally – the life out of you. The strategy I will give you now is the most effective and easiest way to increase your overall energy and zest for life. Simply put: Dominate your transitions.

photocontribution=gustavofrazao

Transitions make up much of your day-to-day routine, so let’s take one categorical example: your transitions at home.

  • You pull into the garage after work and are about to walk in the front door. That’s a transition.
  • You’re doing some housework/office work and your kids call. You’re about to make a transition.
  • You go from eating dinner to talking to your spouse: transition.
  • You watch a movie, now you need to pay the bills: transition.

And so on.

Without a strategy for your transitions, you’ll deplete your energy levels and this will also affect all those around you. You’ll carry negative energy from work to walking in the front door. You’ll go from housework/office-work to greeting your kids without a full appreciation of their presence. But with the right strategy, you’ll gain a tremendous amount of energy and presence for life.

Here’s the strategy and I encourage you to experiment with it:

DELETE PRESSURE, DECIDE PURPOSE

Whenever you’re about to transition… delete pressure, decide purpose. Here’s how:

  1. Close your eyes for one minute and repeat the word delete over and over. Command your body to delete all the pressure you feel from the previous activity – even if it was watching T.V. your body builds up pressure. In conversations and tasks, we build up pressure in our physical form and mental thoughts. Delete the pressure from your jaw, head, shoulders, and so on. Keep repeating the word delete for that one minute. You don’t want to carry it to the next activity.
  2. When some – or all (that would be nice!) – of the built up pressure is gone, DECIDE PURPOSE.
    1. Ask, what kind of emotion and energy do I want to feel and bring to this next conversation/task.
    2. When I’m in the conversation/task, what do I want to feel like? What do I want others to feel?

Then move to said next activity. You’ll live with faaar more purpose this way. And I’ll bet the farm that your marriage will immediately improve, conversations with your kids and neighbors will be much more enjoyable, and you’re overall well-being will increase in fast and significant ways that matter most to you.

Because you’ll have more purposeful energy and presence.

There are other ways to boost your energy levels like when I wrote The little known secret to mastering your life and doing so with extra energy and outlined the steps How to have great energy all day long that you should check out because they will help you.

The quickest way (and maybe most effective way) to increase your energy is to dominate your transitions via delete pressure – decide purpose in every single transition.

It only takes a minute or two and you’ll find substantial changes for the betterment of your life and those around you. You’ll feel happier, almost like your living a brand new life.

Much love,

aaron

P.S. Want personalized Coaching with me? Go here to start your free assessment: I Want To Experience My Best Year Ever

 

Dear Mr. President…

Dear Mr. President…

 

I certainly don’t mean to be offensive with this message. In fact, this video is an equal opportunity offender – not intentionally – myself included.

We all look back in history and shake our head at some things and applaud other events. The things we typically applaud are those in which humanity evolves.

I believe our grandchildren and their kids will look back on this era and, depending on how we deal with others in the ditch (see video), will either shake their heads or rise and give our portion of history a standing ovation.

 

 

 

To all our Presidents, thank you for all you do.

Much love,

aaron